Garbanzo Toons

Reaction to Al Gore's New Flick

No I haven't seen An Inconvenient Truth, and I don't intend to. Sure, a lot of critics love it, and I know some of my friends will be going, but what will its effects be? On me, that is. I don't watch slasher movies (well . . . except for Sorority House Massacre 2 on the recommendation of Joe Bob Briggs), because I don't react well to the endings to the ones I've seen (except for Sorority House Massacre 2, because I don't remember the ending. Other parts I do remember). The killer usually survives somehow to cruelly terrorize more victims in the sequel. If, on the off chance that the killer does die at the end, a new one is introduced to continue to bloodshed - in - the - sequel.

This is Al Gore's sequel, so we are safe on that front, but from the trailer, this is a scary movie, one might even say, the work of a fear monger. We know that the killer in a slasher movie is a figment of the writer's imagination. Al Gore wants us to believe, and many do believe it already, that his movie presents the truth . . . um . . . which is probably why he chose this title.

So how would I react to this movie? Stop driving my car maybe. I could ride my bike to work. I don't work that far from home. It would be tough in the winter, but I could do it. The bike would wear out faster due to the winter conditions. I'd have to buy a new one eventually. But a new bike would use up too many of the Earth's resources. I would have to go on Ebay or Craig's List to find a used one. But then, what about the energy I'd have to use to power my computer? Find a bike in the newspaper? They cut down trees for the paper, use nasty chemicals in the production of the paper and the ink, and they use precious coal or oil, both contributers to global warming, in the creation of the papers, not to mention that they are delivered in trucks with internal combustion engines that spew global warming constituents into the atmosphere. I will have to steal a bike. Please don't tell anyone.

My children can walk to school. My wife depends on her car too much for her job, so she will have to quit. She can stay at home. She will have plenty of time to walk to the local markets to purchase only organic foods, which we will cook over a wood fire, so we can combat global warming by not using either an electric or gas stove, since both are bad for the Earth in their own way.

Then again, we will have to cut down trees for our wood fuel, so my family will from now on, only eat uncooked food; raw meat, raw veggies and fruits; we will adjust in order to save the Earth. But all of the produce has to be delivered to my local market, which means more pollution from those dreaded Detroit creations; trucks. We will have to grow our own crops, organically of course.

We will no longer use our furnace. We will dress warmly in the winter and be out feeding our cows and sheep in the winter. The exercise will keep us warm, and we will have meat all year long, plus a surplus for barter. We don't want to use money anymore because it has to be manufactured, leading to you-know-what. I won't have any money anyway. At this point, I will have to quit my job to allow enough time for what has become my new farming lifestyle.

To avoid all of those difficult changes, I am just going to skip Al Gore's horror movie. I will not react well to it.

Labels: Al Gore, An Inconvenient Truth, economics, environment, movies

posted by Harry @ 1:51 PM