A Movie Review
I'm looking for a movie about the founding of Israel for a class I teach. I've been examining the reviews at
Netflix. I figure the more the Israel-bashers complain that a movie is propaganda for not showing the "Palestinian side" the better it is. But I'm having trouble with the
following review.
1.0 Stars
Kfir
(See my other reviews ...)
5 out of 50 people found this review helpful.
This video of lies is designed to make the Palestinian people look like maniacs. Ask yourself though, if you were a neighbor to a nation that insisted on existing by using their military might, wouldn't you send your children off on suicide missions to kill as many of their men, women, and children as possible? This movie wants you to sway you to believe that shredding 50 civilians at a cafe with shrapnel is somehow immoral. Any one of you would do it too, if pushed that far.
My problem is; I can't figure out if this reviewer is being sarcastic, or if he/she is an idiot. If it's sarcasm, I'm very impressed.
Labels: Israel, movies, Palestinians
Reaction to Al Gore's New Flick
No I haven't seen
An Inconvenient Truth, and I don't intend to. Sure, a lot of critics love it, and I know some of my friends will be going, but what will its effects be? On me, that is. I don't watch slasher movies (well . . . except for
Sorority House Massacre 2 on the recommendation of
Joe Bob Briggs), because I don't react well to the endings to the ones I've seen (except for Sorority House Massacre 2, because I don't remember the ending. Other parts I do remember). The killer usually survives somehow to cruelly terrorize more victims in the sequel. If, on the off chance that the killer does die at the end, a new one is introduced to continue to bloodshed - in - the - sequel.
This is Al Gore's sequel, so we are safe on that front, but from the trailer, this is a scary movie, one might even say, the work of a fear monger. We know that the killer in a slasher movie is a figment of the writer's imagination. Al Gore wants us to believe, and many do believe it already, that his movie presents the truth . . . um . . . which is probably why he chose this title.
So how would I react to this movie? Stop driving my car maybe. I could ride my bike to work. I don't work that far from home. It would be tough in the winter, but I could do it. The bike would wear out faster due to the winter conditions. I'd have to buy a new one eventually. But a new bike would use up too many of the Earth's resources. I would have to go on Ebay or Craig's List to find a used one. But then, what about the energy I'd have to use to power my computer? Find a bike in the newspaper? They cut down trees for the paper, use nasty chemicals in the production of the paper and the ink, and they use precious coal or oil, both contributers to global warming, in the creation of the papers, not to mention that they are delivered in trucks with internal combustion engines that spew global warming constituents into the atmosphere. I will have to steal a bike. Please don't tell anyone.
My children can walk to school. My wife depends on her car too much for her job, so she will have to quit. She can stay at home. She will have plenty of time to walk to the local markets to purchase only organic foods, which we will cook over a wood fire, so we can combat global warming by not using either an electric or gas stove, since both are bad for the Earth in their own way.
Then again, we will have to cut down trees for our wood fuel, so my family will from now on, only eat uncooked food; raw meat, raw veggies and fruits; we will adjust in order to save the Earth. But all of the produce has to be delivered to my local market, which means more pollution from those dreaded Detroit creations; trucks. We will have to grow our own crops, organically of course.
We will no longer use our furnace. We will dress warmly in the winter and be out feeding our cows and sheep in the winter. The exercise will keep us warm, and we will have meat all year long, plus a surplus for barter. We don't want to use money anymore because it has to be manufactured, leading to you-know-what. I won't have any money anyway. At this point, I will have to quit my job to allow enough time for what has become my new farming lifestyle.
To avoid all of those difficult changes, I am just going to skip Al Gore's horror movie. I will not react well to it.
Labels: Al Gore, An Inconvenient Truth, economics, environment, movies
The Benchwarmers
I saw the Benchwarmers last night. It was an accident. I actually got talked into going to see V for Vendetta with my brother and a friend. I had my wife's permission and everthing.
Owing to a combination of circumstances though, we arrived at the theater well into the coming attractions. It was a small theater, and according to the helpful ticket seller, there were still tickets available, but chances are the three of us would either not be able to sit together, or we would be in the first row staring almost straight up at the screen. To me, this was a fine excuse to avoid a movie I didn't relish seeing.
I read the V for Vendetta comic book years ago. I don't remember much about it, but I probably enjoyed it at the time. It was written by Alan Moore, one of the top comic book writers at the time. After reading about the movie however, it sounded like something I would spend a lot of time cringing over had I seen it.
We decided (well, two of us did, the third came with us, complaining all the while) to walk to the other neighborhood theater and see something else. This turned out to be The Benchwarmers, a truly stupid movie. When I say stupid, I don't mean Three Stooges stupid, where Moe, Larry, and Curly are supposed to be stupid and we laugh at their crazy antics because we get the joke. I mean stupid where you sit wondering during the whole movie, "How did this fiasco even get made? How do the people responsible show their faces in public again?"
In order to enjoy The Benchwarmers, you have to laugh at the movie, at the writers who came up with the gross, juvenile "jokes", at the director, who spent time and effort trying to turn a weak script into a movie with no punch, no feeling, no heart, but lots of gross, insulting "humor". Even the shocking surprise that should have added some much needed depth to the movie was flat.
The stars of the movie were all big-time Hollywood funny guys. And they were funny . . . in a stupid sort of way. I won't describe the plot, because there isn't much plot, although there is an even thinner sub-plot, and if you've seen Revenge of the Nerds, you already know the plot.
The thing is, I like all kinds of humor, including stupid humor. I saw Wayne's World II because I laughed so much at Wayne's World I. The Benchwarmers is dumber than both Wayne's World movies, but I laughed throughout the whole thing, sometimes for the right reasons, but sometimes not. Out of the three of us, I was probably the only one who favored this movie over V, but anything that makes me laugh is a good thing. And my friend and brother will get over their disappointment.
One of them complained the whole way home. I had to laugh at him. I am rooting for The Benchwarmers to achieve fame as one of the worst movies ever made. Competition in that category is fierce. Many years ago I saw Dracula vs. Billy the Kid (or was it the other way around?). That's a tough one to beat.
Labels: Benchwarmers, movies
Charlie and the Chocolate Factory
I took my family to see the new Charlie and the Chocolate Factory last night. We are all big fans of the Gene Wilder version, and of Roald Dahl's book upon which the movies were based, so this was a "must see." We all knew it would be different.
I personally like Time Burton's movies, and I like Johnny Depp as an actor. He was great in Pirates of the Carribean, a movie I had to be dragged to, because I knew I would hate it. I, like so many others, loved it.
I tried to give Depp and Burton a fair chance. Had I not had the previous version in my head I might have liked this one better. Or maybe not. Johnny Depp played a completely different Willy Wonka than Gene Wilder did, and that's OK.
This movie though, didn't have the charm of the first one. Much of the tension was gone. The hunor was too forced, as to lack the punch needed to make the audience laugh. The secondary characters lacked depth. Their demise' were too facile. The special effects, with the benefit of over 30 years of technology make the original's effects look cheesy, but they didn't improve the movie. Neither did Tim Burton's sets. The original Wonka factory was a so much more imaginative welcoming place than the Burton version. Burton was too minimal. There was nothing to feed the imaginaion, nothing to make you wish you were there. Burton was generally (I think, it's been a long time since I've read the book) more faithful to the book, but so what? A movie is a different medium and has different story telling needs.
I could go more into specifics, but I don't want to give anything away if you're planning to see the movie. It wasn't a bad movie, it was OK, but it wasn't as good as the original. If you're like me though, you will have to see it anyway.
Labels: Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, Johnnie Depp, movies, Roald Dahl, Tim Burton
Normalize Me
Unlike Morgan Spurlock, who comes to a conclusion first and then builds a
"documentary" to force that conclusion on his audience,
Merab Morgan decided to eat nothing but McDonald's for 90 days.
There are many reasons Merab Morgan decided in April to eat nothing but McDonald's fast food for 90 days. There's her weakness for the Filet-O-Fish, slathered with tartar sauce and cheese. And there was that documentary, "Super Size Me," which she thought insulted the intelligence of fat people by implying that they couldn't resist the offer of a gargantuan portion for a few cents extra.
But mainly, the 35-year-old Henderson, N. C., woman concocted this unorthodox diet for herself -- she's memorized the calories in almost every menu item, and limits herself to 1,400 calories a day -- because it fits her life.
At a cost of $9 to $11 for three meals, the single mother of two can afford it. She travels throughout the Raleigh area working construction jobs, and she has never failed to find a McDonald's somewhere. The whole process of ordering and eating a meal takes maybe 5 minutes, and she mostly eats in her car. Sometimes she hits the drive-through only once, ordering enough food to last the whole day. . . .Since April 22, when Morgan launched her diet with a Sausage Burrito and a medium Diet Coke, she's lost 33 pounds, putting her at about 195 pounds. At 5 feet, 9 inches tall, she's dropped from a size 22 or 24 to a size 15. The size 2X and 3X T-shirts she used to wear look like dresses on her. And despite her friends' fears about skyrocketing cholesterol, she feels great.
Tell your friends who became outraged at McDonalds after they saw "Supersize Me" to give it a rest. I never saw the movie, and I only eat at McDonalds occasionally, but it's about time (again) for people to take responsibility for their actions. If they are gaining weight be eating the wrong food and remaining sedentary, then do something about it, etc.
Labels: McDonalds, Merab Morgan, Morgan Spurlock, movies
Sin City
My wife and I saw Sin City last night. I have all of the comic books, and they are great comic books. If you haven't read them, I highly recommend them. Some things are better left on the comic book page though. Dialogue that works on the printed page can sound stupid, or vapid, or unbelievable coming from the movie screen. Things that look good as a static drawing may make you cringe as a moving picture.
I think a lot of critics were seduced by the production. It was for the most part, a visually stunning flick. We have never seen anything like it. For Frank Miller fans, it was slavishly faithful to the comic. If you look past that, you may notice one dimensional characters, if there's any characterization at all. Many were just "types" from film noirland, and comic noirland. In order to run all three of the stories in a reasonable amount of time, ploting was kept to a minimum. There was no feeling. The whole thing was a sterile visual exercise.
I did think the scantily clad women were a major plus. My wife disagreed.
Labels: comic books, movies, Sin City
War's legitimate object is more perfect peace. Flavius Vegitius Renatus
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CHALLAH AKBAR
